course of life, most of us do not come into contact with personages of royalty. Yet, should it ever
occur, we will certainly want to be prepared! When faced with such a superior life form,
immediately take a deep, full bow, and then stretch yourself out prostrate on the floor. In your efforts to please them and supplicate them, however, it is vitally
important that you do not offer to repair their car or tune up their carburetor. This is because
people of such high station generally have an entire staff of mechanics dedicated to just this one
purpose. If you wish to be helpful, proper etiquette does permit you to whisper the names of
various individuals who you suspect might be opposing them politically, in order that they make
take swift and appropriate action. (Incidentally, a suitably modified version of this advice can be
helpful when dealing with aliens who want to perform medical experiments on
